The following review has been rated R for strong violence, nudity, blood and gore. Viewer discretion is advised
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1237 hours – present
â€™â€™Excuse me … coming through …â€™â€™
Three 20 something guys rushed up the stairs, bumping into people as they went along …
â€™â€™Hey! Watch it!â€™â€™ someone yelled …
The three of them made their way up the stairs, into the strategically placed college library on the third floor of the building.
As they barged into the library, a few people looked up from the books they were reading – completely interrupted … until what had been a lazy monday morning.
The three scanned for the newspaper stands and rushed in that direction.
â€™â€™Iâ€™ll cover Express …â€™â€™ one of them yelled .. trying to keep his voice as low as possible.
â€™â€™Iâ€™ll take timesâ€™â€™, â€™â€™and Iâ€™ll check out Heraldâ€™â€™ the other two pipped back .. as they made their way to the Newspaper stand.
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1235 hours – 2 minutes ago
â€™â€™Maâ€™am … would you be seeing our project today?â€™â€™ said one of them to their project guide.
â€™â€™Hmm … is it okay if I see it tomorrow? I am not feeling that well nowâ€™â€™ came the reply.
Monday, April 03 2006 – 1238 hours – present
â€™â€™Oye … V for Vendetta was at 10:30 … next is at 6:30 … wanna go ?â€™â€™ asked one.
â€™â€™Negative … we need to work in the evening … it has to be now …â€™â€™ came the reply
â€™â€™How about Aeon Flux? Its at 12:45 at Adlabs …â€™â€™
â€™â€™Hmm … hows the movie?â€™â€™
â€™â€™Supposed to be good. Its got Charlize Theron man … supposed to be a sci fi super hero kind of movieâ€™â€™
â€™â€™Hey .. I read a review today. Sheâ€™s supposed to be an assassin. Though the newspaper review wasnâ€™t that greatâ€™â€™
â€™â€™Hey … we need to take a decision in 1 minute. Either we go now or then tomorrowâ€™â€™
â€™â€™Ok .. lets do it …â€™â€™
â€™â€™I think weâ€™ll take 10 mins to reach Adlabs if we take it via KP … what say?â€™â€™
â€™â€™Okay cool … lets do thisâ€™â€™
Iâ€™d like to bring to your attention here, that this is how bad decisions are made. I was unfortunate to be one of the â€™â€™threeâ€™â€™
The Review, Finally
So in the next 10 minutes (if youâ€™re still here), we were at Adlabs … comfortably seated.
The movie had just started – and all we had missed was the National Anthem and the opening two minutes.
Aeon Flux the movie, is a pretty much waste of time and money.
The movie, as the posters will blatantly read out … is all Charlize Theron.
So, from the first shot to the end, its Charlize all the way …
One shot of her close up, then a wider angle, then her eyes, then her telepathic vision, then she kicking butt, then she flying then she …. etc etc …
You might be wondering, but itâ€™s Charlize you idiot ! Whats wrong with that?
I had thought the same thing too, but by the end of the film, with 100 bucks down (out of which 50 bucks was for a freakin coke !!!), I realised that even that wasnâ€™t worth it.
Okay, back to the movie
The movie tries to be very slick (it being set 400 years in the future … so it has to be)
The movie is a mixture of (all the bad things) of all the previous Sci fi movies …
In the end, there is no â€™â€™sciâ€™â€™ in the â€™â€™sci – fiâ€™â€™
Youâ€™ll find traces of â€™â€™The Islandâ€™â€™ (a lot of it), â€™â€™I, Robotâ€™â€™, â€™â€™Minority Reportâ€™â€™, etc etc.
The Script … and the thing you call editing
Unfortunately, the movie does not have any of it.
Its like they hired Charlize Theron, got her an acrobatics trainer, gave her a tight suit and asked her to jump around while they shot her.
The editing is non existent, with shots following one another which have no connection between them …
Most of the plot is very masala hindi movie-ish … and with pretty ordinary acting, turns out to be very corny.
Till the end, every shot is very predictable … and youâ€™re left wishing for something wacky to happen (like Charlize being the main mastermind villain or something) so that you could say .. â€™â€™Woah .. never saw that comingâ€™â€™ and probably losing 100 bucks wouldnâ€™t sting that much …
But guess what? No such thing happens and by the end of the movie, when you step out of the theatre, youâ€™re left wondering whether a law should be made to jail good actors for acting in crappy movies.
The background score was not noticeable … it had more or less the qualities a sci fi movie should have.
The two best parts of the movie were no doubt the interval and the end credits.
Please donâ€™t go and watch the movie if your life depended on it.
Maybe if someone kidnapped a loved one and threatened to kill them if I didnâ€™t watch it, then maybe I would consider going for it …